Every Body Says Something

Flying home yesterday on Southwest, I came across an article about the book What Every Body is Saying, by Joe Navarro. Joe’s been studying non-verbal behavior for over 30 years – Twenty-five were spent in the FBI catching spies.

I loved reading what my different poses mean to other folks. Knowing that a large percentage of our communication with our players is non-verbal, I became fascinated to learn how I could be more intentional with my physical messages.

Here are a few examples:

Standing With Hands on Hips

Use It When you feel you’re being bullied. By putting our hands on our hips, we make ourselves look strong and powerful. It says, “I am standing my ground.”

Avoid It If you want to appear calm and approachable. It’s a very territorial stance—it makes you larger—which is why you often see people do it when they are in a heated discussion.

Crossing Your Arms

Use It To demonstrate that you don’t like what you heard yet you don’t want to just say so. Crossing your arms can also say, “I am here, but I don’t agree with you.”

Avoid It When an athlete wants to discuss an issue. Crossing your arms can be perceived as a blocking behavior. Keeping your arms at your sides or your fingers intertwined below the belt line makes you look friendlier.

Shaking With Both Hands

Use It Exclusively with your grandmother. Only she will appreciate it.

Avoid It At all costs. This is, by every account, the worst handshake you can give. Nobody likes it. Do not use it with a recruit’s parents. Politicians think it scores points; it doesn’t.

Placing Hands Behind Back

Use It To establish formality and decorum when necessary, or when you wish to be alone.

Avoid It When you want others to feel comfortable. The regal stance implies that formality and distance are appreciated. It makes you look standoffish, distant, and unapproachable.

Since the vast majority of our nonverbal cues are driven by our subconscious mind – they are important indications of how we are feeling and what we’re thinking. Pay close attention to what your body language is saying to your team and vice versa!

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